Self-Love Manual

Chapter 5 - The Complexity and Psychology of Self-Esteem

Assessing self-esteem can be quite problematic. The issue lies in the fact that self-esteem can fluctuate on a moment to moment basis throughout the day. It is also often related to a role or function. Some people can have millions of dollars while also battling social anxiety or depression. Others are excellent at dating but awful at work. However, it is significant that the confidence lies in the person’s perception of himself or herself in that particular field. Self-esteem stems from our attachment to something. For example, a chef might take pride in his status as a wonderful cook. And if you were disappointed in the food, the chef would be very unhappy compared to somebody who does not cook for a living. The same applies to any person who is proud of the role that he or she is doing. And this is why self-love is on another level. It is not attached to anything. Because whenever you are attached to something out of identification, your validation stems from what others think. Even if it is positive, it is still temporary. But self-love is nondualistic and constant once you practice it.