Self-Sabotage Workbook

Self-Sabotage Workbook

What is Self-Sabotage and How Will this Workbook Help?

Self-sabotage can be a difficult habit to break, but it is possible with a little bit of determination and perseverance. Self-sabotage is the act of consciously or subconsciously undermining one’s own efforts or progress. This could be in the form of procrastination, procrastinating tasks that are important to you, or engaging in activities that are counter-productive. It could also be from negative self-talk or self-defeating behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals or reaching your fullest potential. The first step in breaking this habit is to become aware of it - to identify when and why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Once you have identified the behavior, it is important to understand the underlying causes or triggers for it. This may require exploring your thoughts and feelings in order to better understand why you are engaging in these behaviors. Once you have identified the triggers, the next step is to replace the self-sabotaging behavior with more positive, productive behaviors. This could be anything from taking a break when you feel overwhelmed, to engaging in positive self-talk, to scheduling regular breaks throughout your day. Finally, it is important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. Self-sabotage is often a defense mechanism, and it is important to remember that it is not a reflection of your worth or ability. It is possible to break the habit of self-sabotage and take the steps to make positive changes in your life.

This workbook hopes to shed some light on your self-sabotage habits, how to recognize them, identify which areas of your life they show up most, and how to manage your habits by creating new ones.

What is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is a destructive pattern of behavior that hinders a person’s success and well-being. It often manifests in procrastination, self-doubt, negative thinking, and poor decision-making. It is the result of conflicting emotions and beliefs and can lead to feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Fortunately, there are strategies that can help people become aware of their self-sabotaging behaviors and replace them with healthier habits.

Patterns of Thoughts & Actions

Attitudes & Behaviors

That don't align with your values

That create ongoing problems in your life

Stops you from moving forward

That interfere with your ability to achieve your goals

That prevent you from successfully facing change

So, self-sabotage can include any behavior, attitude, action, thought, or perspective that:

Creates ongoing problems in your life Doesn't align with your core values Blocks you from achieving your life goals Stops you from moving forward and embracing change

What Drives Self-Sabotage?

Fear

Generally, self-sabotage is driven by fear on some level. This underlying fear can contribute to procrastination and perfectionism.

Anxiety Procrastination and perfectionism can increase anxiety, which can lead you to think in terms of worst- case scenarios.

The Inner Critic

Distorted Beliefs Distorted beliefs about yourself or the world can drive you to avoid being rejected, perceived failure or painful emotions.

A harsh inner dialogue can drive you to avoid taking healthy action, or to take unhelpful/unproductive action.

Survival

The brain is constantly on the lookout for threats to survival to keep us safe. This unconscious vigilance can drive you to hold on to old issues to protect you from physical or emotional damage.

Cycle of Self-Sabotage

When we continuously engage in the cycle of self-sabotage it can really hinder our motivation leaving us to feel disappointed, anxious, and frustrated which can ultimately affect our self-esteem. Here is what the cycle of self-sabotage can look like:

Perfectionistic Demands We tell ourselves that what ever we are doing, has to be perfect.

Fear of Failure

Passive Aggression

We tell ourselves that if it isn't perfect, something bad will happen

Here you may continue to put down the project or yourself due to the avoidance

Procrastination

Self-Criticism

We start to avoid tasks that evoke feelings of anxiety and depression in order to avoid those feelings

We start to criticise what we are doing and discredit the positives

Anxious

Loss of Confidence We don't acknowledge the progress and start to feel a sense of hopelessness

We start feeling anxious, depressed and indifferent about the tasks

Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Self-defeat

Causes

When you sabotage yourself, you engage in self-defeating behaviors on a regular basis, such as: Avoidance Perfectionism

Self-sabotage can come from underlying emotions, including:

Fear Anxiety Self-doubt

Essentially, these emotions or self-doubt can cause you to undermine progress toward building the life you want

Creating conflict Procrastination Negative self-talk

Essencially

It's a problem when

Self-sabotage is when you block your own progress:

When it becomes a habit When it's done without thinking When you don't realize you're doing it When does self-sabotage actually become a problem?

Toward living the life that you want Reaching your goals and aspirations Living a life that feels authentic to you

When it leads you to have negative consequences

Signs You Might Be Self-Sabotaging

Make excuses

You find yourself procrastinating more than usual. You’re constantly second-guessing your decisions. You have difficulty accepting compliments or help from others. You feel like you’re not living up to your full potential. You often compare yourself to others and feel like you’re not good enough. You’re reluctant to try new things because of fear of failure. You’re stuck in a pattern of perfectionism. You experience feelings of regret and guilt even when you don’t need to. You give up easily when facing challenges. You regularly put yourself down and have negative self-talk.

Try to control other people Seek others'

approval Withdraw socially

Set goals that are too low Compare yourself

to others

Resist or avoid change

Avoid uncomfortable situations or people

Take actions that go against your values and

goals

Stay in your comfort zone

Take hazardous actions

(ie: gambling, overspending, substance

abuse or promiscuity)

Create conflict in relationships

Let's Reflect

What is the root cause of your self-sabotaging behavior?

How do you think your self-sabotage is impacting your life?

Let's Reflect

What can you do to become more aware of your self-sabotaging behavior?

How do you feel about recognizing and facing these self-sabotaging habits?

Let's Reflect

What are some ways you feel you engage in self-sabotage?

Procrastination

Avoiding difficult emotions

Not taking action

Negative self-talk

Making decisions out of fear

Creating conflict

Perfectionism

Trying to please everyone

Making excuses

Overthinking

Not taking risks

Staying in your comfort zone

Focusing on the negative

Not setting goals

Acting in a way that goes

Being too hard on yourself

Ignoring intuition

against your core values

Not setting boundaries

Believing in the impossible

Avoiding change

Risky behavior

Social isolation or withdrawing

What would be the best outcome if you stopped self-sabotaging?

Personal Values

Personal values are those qualities and beliefs that are most important to you. They are the things that you live by and that shape your decisions and help you to determine your priorities. They are important because they provide a sense of direction and purpose in life, define who you are and what matters to you, and can even inform your relationships with others. Select the values that matter most to you!

Integrity Respect Honesty Loyalty Self-discipline Compassion Open-mindedness

Self-expression Ingenuity Moderation Empathy Self-awareness Graciousness Emotional intelligence Fairness Generosity Self-care

Authenticity Prudence Sincerity Diligence

Imagination Self-reliance Ambition Non-judgmental Honesty

Courage Humility Patience Perseverance Creativity Self-reliance Responsibility Gratitude Generosity Tolerance Humor

Discernment Consistency Adaptability Wisdom Humility Leadership

Positive attitude Self-forgiveness Curiosity

Appreciation Cooperation Forgiveness Purity Enthusiasm Self-respect Kindness Friendship

Understanding Self-reflection Self-improvement Flexibility Family

Positivity Optimism Confidence

Let's Reflect

Your Top 5 Values

1

2

3

4

5

Do you have any self-sabotaging habits or patterns that conflict with your values? Describe the habit(s). (Eg: You value self-discipline but don't stick to your routines or you value family but don't make an effort to reach out to them and self-isolate instead)

Which values mean a lot to you but you don't feel like to are currently honoring?

What are you left feeling after engaging in self-sabotaging habits? (Eg: When you sit on your phone longer than you wanted to - Frustrated, Disappointed, Shame, Sadness)

How do you typically talk to yourself when you are engaging in self-sabotage? (Eg: When you sit on your phone longer than you wanted to - You start to call yourself lazy, unmotivated, question your motives in life)

What are some more gentle words you can use instead? How would a loving friend talk to you?

(Eg: It's okay to make mistakes sometimes)

Let's take a moment to imagine what your ideal day would look like. A day where you honored all your values and lived life according to your goals - What would this day look like?

Self-Sabotage How self-sabotaging shows up in different areas of life

Where does Self-Sabotaging Show Up?

There are many areas of life where self-sabotaging can rear its head. You may feel that you have found your balance in one area but struggle with self-sabotaging in another. Or you may see similar patterns throughout. Here are some common places where self-sabotaging may show up most (in no particular order):

1 2 4 5 3

Career

It's not uncommon for self-sabotaging habits to show up most in your career. It's often the one people struggle with the most.

Education

Education and schooling can highlight strengths, weaknesses, and future goals which can often bring about self-sabotaging behaviors like perfectionism and procrastination.

Romantic Relationships

Relationships with friends or family Previous traumas, childhood relationships with your parents, and self-esteem are some of the biggest factors that can contribute to you self-sabotaging your romantic relationships. Relationships with friends are layered and complex. It can often bring about questions about your worth, self esteem, having to practice boundaries, and unconscious behaviors you may not be aware of.

Health

People often unknowingly self-sabotage their health by having unhealthy habits and attitudes that can lead to physical and mental issues.

How Self-Sabotaging Shows Up In Your Career

1

2

3

Not taking risks: Taking calculated risks is essential for career growth, but if you're too afraid to take risks, you may be missing out on great opportunities.

Not staying organized: If you can't stay organized, you may miss important deadlines or forget to take care of tasks.

You tend to make decisions and choose behaviors that block you from achieving your goals

4

5

6

Refusing to accept constructive criticism: If you're not willing to listen to criticism and learn from it, you may be hindering your career progress.

Not being proactive: Waiting for instructions or tasks to be handed to you is not the best way to get ahead. Initiative is needed to move forward.

Not setting goals: Without goals, you don't have anything to strive for and that can lead to complacency.

9

7

8

Seeking comfort: You might stay in your career comfort zone due to fear of failure or uncertainty

Not seeking feedback: Not taking the time to get feedback from your peers or supervisors can keep you from understanding and improving your skills and performance.

Failing to focus on development: Investing in yourself through training and development is essential, especially if you want to move up in your field.

How Self-Sabotaging Shows Up In Your Education

1

2

Procrastinating: Putting off studying, completing assignments, and other tasks that are essential for academic success.

Being disorganized: Not having a plan for completing tasks or deadlines, or not keeping track of important dates and materials.

3

4

Lack of focus: Not being able to concentrate on the task at hand and allowing distractions to get in the way of learning.

Not asking for help: Not seeking advice or assistance from teachers, tutors, or peers when needed.

6

5

Not taking breaks: Trying to cram too much studying in a short period of time, which can lead to burnout.

Unrealistic expectations: Setting goals that are \ too difficult to achieve or not allowing for any mistakes.

7

8

Not making healthy choices: Not getting enough sleep, eating unhealthy foods, or engaging in other activities that can affect your ability to focus.

Not taking responsibility: Blaming others for mistakes or not taking ownership of a situation.

How Self-Sabotaging Shows Up In Your Relationship

Not communicating openly and honestly

1

Blaming the other person for your own issues

2

Resisting vulnerability

3

Putting up walls

4

Not being able to forgive

5

Having unrealistic expectations

6

Having a lack of trust

7

Making assumptions about the other person

8

Not respecting boundaries

9

Constantly seeking reassurance, validation or approval

10

Using the silent treatment to punish the other person

11

Allowing outside influences to interfere in the relationship

12

Not taking the time to nurture the relationship

13

How Self-Sabotaging Shows Up In Friendships & Family

Not making time for friends or not showing up when plans are made.

Making negative comments about others.

Being unreliable or not following through on promises.

Withholding compliments or downplaying another person’s successes.

Refusing to listen or hear out another person's point of view.

Failing to be honest or keeping secrets from friends.

Jealousy or feeling threatened by another person’s successes.

Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.

Not being supportive of friends during difficult times.

Gossiping or talking badly about other people or friends.

Comparing one's friends to others or putting them down.

Not respecting boundaries or taking advantage of the friendship.

Ignoring or disrespecting a friend’s feelings.

Not apologizing when wrong or not taking responsibility for mistakes.

Not giving your friends the same attention as you give to others.

Being overly competitive or trying to one-up friends.

Making friends feel like they’re not important or not valued.

Not being honest about one’s feelings or intentions.

Not being flexible or open to compromise.

Not being present or engaged when spending time with friends.

How Self-Sabotaging Shows Up In Your Health

Eating a poor diet low in essential nutrients

Not getting enough sleep

Not drinking enough water

Failing to exercise regularly

Not taking your medication

Drinking too much alcohol or smoking

Neglecting your mental health

Excessive social media use

Engaging in dangerous activities

Not listening to your body when it's telling you something is wrong

Not following a healthy bedtime routine

Not making time for hobbies or relaxation

Let's Reflect

Which area in your life do you tend to self-sabotage the most?

Career

Education

Relationship

Friendships & Family

Health

On a scale of 1 - 10 how satisfied are you in the different areas of your life?

Career

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Education

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Relationships

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Friendships & Family

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Health

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Which area would you like to work on most and why?

Let's Reflect

How would you like this area of your life to look instead?

In the area you selected you would like to work on most, in what ways do you self-sabotage?

Let's Reflect

Imagine you woke up tomorrow and all your self-sabotaging habits magically disappeared? What would this area of you life look like?

What small step can you do today to move closer to the picture you illustrated above?

Types of Self Sabotage The 5 types of self-sabotage

Types of Self-Sabotage

There are many areas of life where self-sabotaging can rear its head. You may feel that you have found your balance in one area but struggle with self-sabotaging in another. Or you may see similar patterns throughout. Here are some common places where self-sabotaging may show up most (in no particular order):

1 2 4 5 3

Procrastination

Procrastination can have a detrimental effect on many aspects of life. It can lead to missed deadlines, poor performance at work or school, and difficulty managing stress.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a trait that can be both beneficial and detrimental in life. On one hand, striving for perfection can help us to achieve great things and reach our goals. On the other hand, it can be detrimental when it causes us to be overly critical of ourselves, or to become overwhelmed and stressed out by the need to get everything just right

Self-Criticism

Self-criticism can be a source of great distress and can often lead to feelings of low self-esteem. It can be a vicious cycle of negative thoughts and feelings that can leave people feeling hopeless and helpless

Avoiding Change

When individuals fail to embrace change, they can become stagnant and limit their potential for personal growth.

Poor Self-Care

Poor self-care can have a variety of negative effects on your overall health, mental well-being, and quality of life.

Procrastination

Procrastination is a cycle that can be difficult to break out of. It starts with feeling overwhelmed or anxious about a task. This can lead to procrastination, which can cause guilt and self-criticism. This guilt can lead to more procrastination, creating a vicious cycle.

1

2

3

4

Feeling overwhelmed or anxious about a task

Feelings of guilt, failure, distrust in yourself

Procrastinate some more

This can lead to procrastination

Some common ways people procrastinate are:

Browsing the internet

Avoiding or postponing tasks

Spending too much time on social media

Reading articles unrelated to the task

Watching TV

Cleaning or reorganizing

Doing housework or chores

Shopping online

Eating snacks

Engaging in meaningless conversations

Taking breaks

Taking too many breaks

Playing video games

Watching movies

Daydreaming

Doing anything other than the task at hand

Texting or talking on the phone

Procrastinating

Excessive sleeping

Doing anything to avoid the task.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the tendency to strive for flawlessness and set high-performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. It can be both beneficial and detrimental, providing motivation for high achievement but also leading to feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and depression.

Try Again, Feeling Motivated

Spark returns. Feeling motivated and confident to tackle tasks. Fleets of energy and inspiration

Judgement

All or Nothing

Judge yourself for lack of progress. If progress doesn't feel good enough, you attach it to character and you don't feel good enough

Throw all your energy into the task. If not done well it must not be done at all.

Increase in Urgency You make progress but it doesn't feel like enough. You start feeling discouraged.

Anxiety & Depression You feel stuck and overwhelmed. Nothing you're working on feels like quality. Nothing feels good enough.

Absolute Burnout

Focus on Flaws

You start to focus on everything that isn't going right. You lose satisfaction and momentum slows

Low self-care, task has taken over, pasted your usual boundaries, you may want to push even harder

Self-Criticism

People often criticize themselves for things that are beyond their control, such as their physical appearance or natural abilities. This self-criticism can lead to feelings of low self esteem and self-doubt, which can lead to further negative feelings and behaviors. Here is what self-criticism may look like for you:

Criticism about your physical appearance

I am fat! I have so many wrinkles. I hate my body and the way it looks.

Criticism about your brilliance

I am stupid. I will never understand. I can never get this right. I am lost. All I do is make mistakes.

Comparing yourself to others

I will never have what they have. Why can't I just be like that? They seem so perfect, I'm so never going to be like them.

I can't believe I did that. I can never do anything right! I always make the wring decisions.

Shaming yourself

I just want to quit, everything is too hard. I'm no good at anything. I don't know what I'm doing anyway so what's the point?

Giving up

Not having enough in your life

I am always broke. I never have enough money, food, clothes etc.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's my fault.

Over apologizing

Avoiding Change

Here are some common reasons why people my stay in their comfort zone and avoid change:

1 2 4 3

People often avoid making changes in their life because they fear the unknown. Change can bring a lot of uncertainty, and it can be difficult to know what the outcome will be. People can also be resistant to change because it can be difficult to adjust to new routines and habits. Additionally, some people might be too comfortable in their current situation and lack the motivation to make changes. People might also be hesitant to make changes if they do not believe they are capable of making the change successfully.

Lastly, some people might be resistant to change because of the amount of effort and time it can take to implement a new change.

Tick some of the ways you think you may be avoiding change:

Refusing to acknowledge the need for

Avoiding difficult conversations

change

Refusing to seek advice

Denying the possibility of change

Becoming overly critical of others

Procrastinating

Refusing to take risks

Making excuses

Not setting goals

Staying in your comfort zone

Staying stuck in the past

Focusing on the negative aspects of

Over-analyzing the situation

change

Becoming overwhelmed and giving up

Blaming others

Poor Self-Care

Earlier in the workbook, we explored how poor health may look in your life but what if you gave up on self-care? Here are some signs that your self-care may need more attention:

When someone asks you when that meeting was last week and you can't remember. What was the difference in those days anyway?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Everyday feels the same

You're envious of other people You compete for "who's got it worse" You drag your feet getting out of bed You don't like what you see in the mirror You're always feeling exhausted

You keep hitting that snooze button in the morning because you're never really feeling motivated to get up

Are you feeling out of touch with the person you have become? Life has been so distracting that you barely recognize yourself anymore.

You have been on the go! You may even be feeling sick all the time! This is a signal to rest.

When you're engaging with the people in your life you find yourself talking about how you always have it worse.

You feel jealous when you see other achieving goals or having in fun in life because you feel a deep lack of those things too

You feel as if you are going crazy or aging slowly - sounds like you have a lot to remember all the time

You distracted and forgetful

8 9 10

You're too hard on yourself

You criticize yourself for not being perfect or berate yourself for the smallest of mistakes.

You're indifferent

You have become so apathetic that you agree to anything anyone asks you to do

You'd be okay if everyone else weren't so annoying

Let's Reflect

Which form of self-sabotage do you recognize yourself doing most?

Poor self-care

Self-criticism

Procrastination

Other

Perfectionism

Avoiding change

Rate how you engage with each self-sabotage type. From 1 - you don't engage in that self sabotage type at all to 10 - you find yourself self-sabotaging using that type the most.

Procrastination

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Engage

Somewhat Engage

Don't Engage at All

Perfectionism

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Self-criticism

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Avoiding change

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Poor self-care

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Completely Satisfied

Completely Unsatisfied

Somewhat Satisfied

Let's Reflect

Select your top three self-sabotaging types that you would like to work on the most. Write the type in the blue heading on the top and answer the questions below.

1.

What is one way you can improve? How can you make that happen?

2.

What is one way you can improve? How can you make that happen?

3.

What is one way you can improve? How can you make that happen?

Self-Sabotage Ways to break the cycle of self-sabotaging

Managing Self-Sabotage

Here are a few techniques that you can try to overcome self-sabotage:

The first step in overcoming self-sabotage is to identify the behavior that is causing the problem. This could be anything from procrastination, negative self talk, or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Once you have identified the behavior, you can start to work on changing it. Often, our self-sabotaging behaviors are rooted in negative beliefs that we hold about ourselves. It's important to challenge these beliefs and replace them with more positive and empowering ones. For example, if you believe that you are not capable of succeeding, challenge that belief by reminding yourself of times when you have succeeded in the past. Sometimes self-sabotage can be a result of feeling overwhelmed by a large goal. To avoid this, try setting small, achievable goals that will lead you towards your larger goal. Celebrate your small successes along the way, and use them as motivation to keep moving forward. Taking care of yourself is essential when it comes to overcoming self-sabotage. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. When you are feeling your best, you are more likely to have the energy and motivation to work towards your goals.

Identify the behavior:

Challenge your beliefs:

Set small goals:

Practice self care:

Finally, don't be afraid to seek support from others. This could be a trusted friend, family member, or a professional like a therapist or coach. Talking through your challenges with someone else can help you gain a fresh perspective and new ideas for overcoming self-sabotage.

Seek support:

Breaking the Cycle

1 2 4 3

Recognise your self-sabotaging behavior

You may be experiencing the cost of not changing the unhelpful behavior like burnout, apathy or sadness. In the precontemplation stage, people are not yet aware of their behavior and do not consider changing it.

Decide to change

You may be experiencing the cost of not changing the unhelpful behavior like burnout, apathy or sadness. In the precontemplation stage, people are not yet aware of their behavior and do not consider changing it.

Use some well-know techniques

You may be experiencing the cost of not changing the unhelpful behavior like burnout, apathy or sadness. In the precontemplation stage, people are not yet aware of their behavior and do not consider changing it.

Make two decisions

You may be experiencing the cost of not changing the unhelpful behavior like burnout, apathy or sadness. In the precontemplation stage, people are not yet aware of their behavior and do not consider changing it.

Stages of Change

1 2 4 5 6 3

You may be experiencing the cost of not changing unhelpful behavior like burnout, apathy, or sadness. In the pre contemplation stage, people are not yet aware of their behavior and do not consider changing it.

Pre-contemplation

In the contemplation stage, they begin to recognize their behavior and consider changing it. You may still feel some ambivalence at this stage but you're slowly becoming aware of the change that's needed.

Contemplation

During the preparation stage, they start to make plans to change their behavior and create a strategy to make the change. In this stage, you feel ready to make the changes you need. Small changes are necessary.

Preparation

The action stage is when they begin to make the changes they have planned. This is when they take tangible steps to modify their behavior. This is where you start to notice a change in your behavior.

Action

The maintenance stage is when they sustain the changes they have made. This stage involves monitoring their progress and making any necessary adjustments to ensure that their change is permanent.

Maintenance

After making changes the individual may resort back to old habits and previous problem behaviors. You can move through this process several times before you find a routine that best works for you.

Relapse

Your Change Plan

What behaviors, habits or thinking patterns would you like to change?

What would happen if you were no longer doing the same thing? (Eg: not sitting on your phone for long periods of time)

What can you do to start getting ready for the change?

What steps do you need to take to make this change happen?

Your Change Plan

What can others do to help you change your behavior?

How will you know that you have been making progress?

What can I do if I start going back to old behavior?

What is something I can do today to start changing my behavior?

Challenging a Negative Thought

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

What is the automatic negative thought?

How do you know if this thought is accurate?

What evidence is there to support this thought or belief?

Is this thought helpful?

Are there other ways you can think of this situation or yourself?

Are you blaming yourself unnecessarily?

Is it in your control?

8 9 10

Are you overgeneralizing?

What would you say to a friend in this situation?

Are there exceptions to this thought?

Challenging a Negative Thought

What is the automatic negative thought?

How do you know if this thought is accurate?

What evidence is there to support this thought or belief?

Is this thought helpful?

Are there other ways you can think of this situation or yourself?

Challenging a Negative Thought

Are you blaming yourself unnecessarily?

Is it in your control?

Are you overgeneralizing?

What would you say to a friend in this situation?

Are there exceptions to this thought?

Put Your Thought on Trial

Put your thoughts on dock

What negative thought is troubling you?

Prosecution

What evidence suggests that this thought is true? What facts would a prosecution lawyer use to convince the jury that this thought is accurate?

Defense

What evidence suggests that this thought is false? What facts would a defense lawyer use to discredit this thought?

Jury The jury's job is to weigh up the evidence for and against the thought. They have to set aside their feelings and make a balanced judgment based on the evidence presented.

How will you know that you have been making progress?

Given all of the evidence presented what do you think of the original thought now? What is a balanced and realistic way of looking at the thought now? Sum up your new way of thinking.

Goal Setting

Deadline Set a reasonable deadline. This will help you to avoid procrastination. Allow yourself enough time without overwhelming yourself but enough to keep motivated

"Why"

Commit

Write down why you think these goals are important to you. How will achieving these goals benefit you? How will you stay accountable?

Write down the goal you would like to achieve. Think of goals that you can achieve relatively soon and some longterm goals too

Break it Down

Reward Setting a reward for yourself for when you reach your goal could help add in some extra motivation eg: spa treatment, mini vacation, new product etc.

To avoid overwhelm, break down your goals into smaller, more manageable steps. Small steps each day feels more achievable than constantly keeping in mind the greater goal

Plan adhead

To plan ahead identify obstacles you may face and come up with solutions to overcome them and eliminate excuses. The plan could include people you can reach out to should you need extra support.

Goal Setting

START DATE :

END DATE :

MY GOAL

AFFIRMATION STATMENT OR QUOTE

ACTION PLANS FOR MY GOAL

SCHEDULE

HABITS & ROUTINES

RESOURCES I NEED

Daily Planner

DATE:

TODAY'S AFFIRMATION

I AM GRATEFUL FOR....

SCHEDULE

TO DO

6AM 7AM 8AM 9AM 10AM 11AM 1PM 12PM 2PM 3PM 4PM 5PM 6PM 7PM 8PM 9PM 10PM

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Actions to boost mental, spirutial and physical wellness.

APPRECIATION

GROWTH (What I have learned)

(What made me smile today)

NOTES

Daily Planner

DATE:

TODAY'S AFFIRMATION

HOW I'M FEELING TODAY

TOP 3 TASKS

GRAUNDING ACTIVITIES

MORNING

NOON

EVENING

NOTES

Daily Tracker

DATE:

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY:

WHAT WERE YOU DOING OR THINKING OF, BEFORE YOU WERE AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS?

WHY DO YOU THINK IT MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY?

IF YOU COULD DO ANYTHING TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Daily Tracker

S M T W T F S

DATE:

Restless Sleep

Unmotivated

Unfocused

No Appetite

Nausea

Fatigue

Lack of Concentration

Sensitive to light / smell / sound

Anxiety

Irritable

Sad

MY EMOTION ( Scale of 1-10)

1

4

2 3

5 6 7

8 9 10

Daily Thought Challenge

DATE:

WHAT WAS THE WORST PART OF MY DAY?

MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS COMING UP

MY KINDER WAY TO LOOK AT IT

HOW CAN I WORD IT NICER?

HOW I CAN COPE?

30 Questions to Increase Self-Awareness

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

What are my core values and how do I live them? What kind of people do I enjoy spending time with? What brings me joy and what drains my energy? What are my biggest accomplishments and why are they important to me? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What are my goals for this year, and how can I achieve them?

What have I learned from past experiences? What do I need to let go of to move forward? What do I need more of in my life to be happy?

10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30.

What do I need to do to stay focused and motivated? What do I need to do to live a life that is meaningful to me? What do I need to do to improve my self-confidence? What are some of my most important relationships and how am I nurturing them? How can I cultivate a deeper relationship with myself? How do I want to be seen by others? How can I be more mindful and present in my life? What do I need to do to be closer to my goals? How do I want to challenge myself? How can I build better relationships with my colleagues? What do I need to do to be more productive? What do I need to do to be more mindful of my time? How do I want to grow as a person? How can I be more understanding and compassionate toward others? What do I need to do to make more time for myself? How can I be more mindful of my emotions?

How do I want to challenge myself to be better? What do I need to do to become more self-aware?

What changes do I need to make to live my life to the fullest? What do I need to do to be more grateful for what I have? How can I make the most out of my day-to-day life?

Mindfulness Techniques

Lie on the ground and watch the clouds in the sky

Pick up a leaf, flower, or pebble. Look at it closely, trying to see every detail

Listen to music, observing each note as it comes. Try breathing the sounds into your body and letting them flow out again on your out breath

Breathe in and notice any smells around you. Bring something close to your nose and notice the smells. Take it away and then notice the smells again. Do they linger?

When cooking notice the aroma of the food

When bathing smell the soap or the shampoo

When eating a meal notice the taste and texture of each bite

Scan your entire body and notice the sensations. Where in your body is an urge?

When you are chewing your food, notice when you have the urge to swallow

Stroke your upper lip with your finger. Stop stroking and notice how long it takes before you can't sense your upper lip at all

When sitting, notice your thighs on the chair. Notice the curve of your knees and your back

Pay attention to anything touching you right now. Scan through each one slowly

Focus your attention to the space between your eyes

Observe your breath. Is it shallow? Light? Did you change it upon noticing it?

As you notice the thoughts in your mind, notice the pauses between each thought

Notice the thoughts in your mind. Ask "Where do thoughts come from?"

Keep your focus on what you are currently doing, gently expand your awareness to include the space around you

How to Manage Strong Emotions

Take a step back and simply notice your emotions

Experience your emotion as a wave on a beach, coming and going

Try not to block or suppress the emotion

Respect your emotion and let go of any judgments you may have about it

Observed how long it took for the emotional intensity to subside

Practiced willingness to have unwelcome emotions

Notice the action urge that went with your emotion

Notice where in your body you feel the emotional sensations

Remember to experience the sensations as long as you can

Do not react to your emotion straight away

Remind yourself of times when you felt differently

Do not judge the emotion you are experiencing

Practice willingness

Radically accept the emotion you are feeling and experiencing

Try to send this emotion love and acceptance

Try not to amplify the emotion

Try not to hold on to the emotion or it's intensity

Do not try to keep the emotion around longer than it wants to stay

Coping Skills List

Have a cup of tea or coffee Find a new hobby Plan a new career What a movie Lay in the sun Listen to music Laugh (what a comedy) Go for a walking/jog Think about past good times Start a collection Spend time with friends Eat something special Look at beautiful scenery Create a budget Practice yoga Repairing around house Think of loved ones Declutter / clean Take care of plants /garden Create art/paint Reflect at past kindness Sign around the house Arrange flowers Think "I accept myself" Do nothing all day Take a nap Make a gift for someone

Go to SPA Daydream Go for a drive

Go hiking Write a poem Read a book/magazine Connect on social media Plan a vacation Put on makeup Redecorate the house Learn a new language Send a text Window shop Play a video game Listen to sound of nature Put on some perfume Complete a task Volunteer Create a vision board Meditate Do one kindness act Practice mindful breathing Write a compliment list Write a letter to future self Look at the moon/stars Say "I love you" Go outside

Watch a TV Show Make a to do list Photography Play with a pet Have some alone time Journal Dance around the house Meditate/pray Dress up for no reason Call a friend Light candles Fantisize about the future Knit /Crochet Do a crossword Get a message Exercise Listen to an audio book Take a warm bath Meet people online Do something new Color in a coloring book Do your nails Join a book club Origami

Camp in a backyard

Cooking /baking